Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Things that Should Not Be

Alternate title: Hollywood Keeps Flipping Us Off; We Keep Paying Them for It.

I am now thoroughly convinced that Hollywood and the rest of the mainstream media have completely run out of ideas. They've become so strapped for ideas that they are now in the business of remaking movies. Now, I know remaking movies is an old practice. I'm not that slow on the uptake. however, in the past the remaking of a film was a rarity and furthermore was often an homage to its predecessor, as well as a whole new vision for the story.

Today the remake has become so prevalent that even movies that have no business being remade are being remade (See: My Bloody Valentine, and now The Karate Kid). It's easy to say that many directors merely wish to retell a classic story with their own flavor and twist, but what we're actually getting is sub-par stories churned out for a quick dollar. Again, I cite Karate Kid and My Bloody Valentine... neither of which are particularly good movies in the first place.*

Speaking of which, a lot of these remakes have been of film classics, and some are even quite good. It's hard to argue against something like 3:10 to Yuma. Even The Invasion, despite being critically panned, was quite enjoyable. But for every good remake that's been made in recent years we're getting two, three, even four that are just absolute garbage. Basically for every 3:10 to Yuma we get a House of Wax, House on Haunted Hill, and The Hills Have Eyes.** Let's face it: given this current trend, I don't exactly have the highest hopes for Harvey.

But, hey... since making money is the name of the game, I can play too. Here are my Top 10 Movies that "Deserve" a Remake***

10. Robocop
9. Lethal Weapon
8. Misery
7. Howard the Duck
6. To Kill a Mockingbird
5. Goodfellas
4. Fahrenheit 451
3. Clerks
2. Arsenic and Old Lace
1. North by Northwest

Feel free to post your own lists in the comments. I'll be more than happy to read them.

*I need to note that I absolutely freaking LOVE The Karate Kid, but that doesn't make it a good movie.
** I noticed while writing this a lot of these remakes are schlocky horror flicks, as well as the back catalog of John Capenter's movies... which is still going on today.
*** I am actually quite afraid that someone is going use these ideas.


Thursday, December 17, 2009


Sometimes in this world you have a million things to tell people.
Sometimes just to one person.
Mostly you keep your mouth shut
And think you say things when they matter.
When it's important.
People come and go every day.
You wave
Then one day people go and stay gone.
Who knows when they're coming back?
They leave
And all you can do is
Hug them
Say "I'll miss you."
They leave
And you wish you had said more.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


When I started this blog, I was hoping for something. I was hoping the bug to write would overtake me again. I was hoping that my loquacious nature would translate into something more constructive. Yet, since I started "writing" again, I cannot find things I truly want to write about.

This is partly because I feel like I'm not doing anything worth writing about. Yes I am going out more (read: at all). Yes I am enjoying myself more these days. I can even say I'm content with where I am. However, I just do not feel like I'm doing anything, or even thinking about anything that is worth writing about. Sure I could post movie/TV/music reviews (too many to find a starting place/don't watch anymore/not really liking anything new), discuss books I am reading (ashamed to admit I am making very little progress on), work stuff (probably boring to many), or "God stuff" (often feel unqualified and inadequate to discuss intellectually or artistically).

While I should be using this space more frequently, I just can't find the things I want to talk about. I find so many people who say things in a much more eloquent manner than I can even muster. Now, this doesn't mean I'll be giving up on The Fix is In. I suppose all I'm doing is trying to justify and rationalize my inability to write more. I'll keep trying to plug away at this, but my posts will be spotty at best. But to those who do come here, and have enjoyed what little is here, thanks.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Things about today:

  1. I know way more about toilets than I truly care to admit. 
  2. If you're bleeding please have the courtesy to not drip your blood on the carpet...
    1. On a side note, if you can't control your bleeding, maybe you should see a doctor or something
  3. Ikea makes some crazy light bulbs.
  4. Even people you don't particularly care for can be pretty rad sometimes. 
  5. No, seriously... way too much about the inner workings of a toilet.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


I don't care if I was in the candy aisle... when the woman in Bartell's asks you if you want a little sugar it's just weird.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Cheap plug

My friend Sarah is a delightful human being. You should read her blog over at The Pink Umbrella and try her tasty recipe for the milk of autumn.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Plusses of the night

+ Elliott Bay's No Doubt Stout
+ A small birthday celebration
+Linds and Amanda telling me I'm not allowed to touch my wallet save for my ID.
+ "        "          "      buying me a t-shirt to commemorate the night
+ "        "          "      in general!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

God in the Gutters

Having spent the last couple days playing with gutters and rooftops I've learned some things:
  1. I am, by no means, afraid of heights. It's the falling part that seems a bit irksome.
  2. Zinc strips are a fascinating concept, but an irritating practice.
  3. ALL downspouts should have some type of perforated covering to keep them from getting clogged
  4.  In general, gutters are not complicated, despite what all you throw in the shopping cart for the repairs.
  5. The most gorgeous, even tempered day on the planet will seem downright hot on top of a roof.
  6. The concept of a Fiddler on the Roof makes so much more sense now...
  7. When the label says "Do not make contact with skin or eyes" it's best to listen
  8. Seriously. When you get the powdered moss killer in your eye, it hurts.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Trinkets, Baubles, Gewgaws, and Doodads....


What is it about the rain that evokes such strong emotions from people? It's water falling from the sky. Yet it has evoke such passionate feelings from people. Some people grow depressed in the gray dreariness, feeling separated from their fellow man. They feel a yearning to belong. They feel lonely.

Monday, September 14, 2009


The Current List
  • Gulliver's Travels (Swift)
  • Finding the Will of God: a Pagan Notion? (Waltke)
  • The Apocrypha (NRSV)*
  • The Pilgrim's Progress (Bunyan)
  • The Killer Angels (Shaara)
  • Screwtape Letters (Lewis)

  • Shop Class as Soulcraft: an Inquiry into the Value of Work (Crawford)
  • Grace Abounding: the Life, Books & Influence of John Bunyan (Calhoun)  
  • Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (Pirsig)
If anyone has further suggestions, feel free to make them here.

Jon's leaps in logic some mornings astound me...

*Specifically The book of Baruch

Friday, September 11, 2009

What? Am I just not here?

I'm convinced I'm invisible. Either that or I am just really short. On several occasions I will be standing right next to or in front of someone and they will ask where I am. It seems as though people just talk about me as if I'm not even there.

What's with Steven Tyler's voice on Dream On anyway?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Welcome to the Blog of the Blue-collared Brainiacs

Well, here we are. First real post. First and foremost I feel I must thank Katrina of With a Humble Hand for directly and indirectly influencing this blog. Directly, if it weren't for her input and advice that banner graphic would never have seen the light of day. Indirectly, reading Katrina's writings in recent days has inspired me. The spark to write has returned as well as a desire to have people read what I have to say. Thank you so much, Katrina. You're great.

So I suppose here is as good of a place as any to write about what is going on here. I think the description says it all. This is going to be a place for myself, as well as others in the coming days, to discuss stories from the world we encounter day to day: the working world, the church, various mediums of communication, and our relationships. We'll look at how we interact with these things. We'll post articles of interest. We'll share our stories from life.

So if you've been linked here, or if you stumbled here by accident I hope you'll stick around. I think we'll end up having a lot of fun.

Test run

Pardon the dust while we get this thing up and running.
This is basically going to be an outlet for humorous stories and observations on life. Your standard run-of-the-mill blog, but hopefully someone will find something worthwhile here.