Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Things that Should Not Be

Alternate title: Hollywood Keeps Flipping Us Off; We Keep Paying Them for It.

I am now thoroughly convinced that Hollywood and the rest of the mainstream media have completely run out of ideas. They've become so strapped for ideas that they are now in the business of remaking movies. Now, I know remaking movies is an old practice. I'm not that slow on the uptake. however, in the past the remaking of a film was a rarity and furthermore was often an homage to its predecessor, as well as a whole new vision for the story.

Today the remake has become so prevalent that even movies that have no business being remade are being remade (See: My Bloody Valentine, and now The Karate Kid). It's easy to say that many directors merely wish to retell a classic story with their own flavor and twist, but what we're actually getting is sub-par stories churned out for a quick dollar. Again, I cite Karate Kid and My Bloody Valentine... neither of which are particularly good movies in the first place.*

Speaking of which, a lot of these remakes have been of film classics, and some are even quite good. It's hard to argue against something like 3:10 to Yuma. Even The Invasion, despite being critically panned, was quite enjoyable. But for every good remake that's been made in recent years we're getting two, three, even four that are just absolute garbage. Basically for every 3:10 to Yuma we get a House of Wax, House on Haunted Hill, and The Hills Have Eyes.** Let's face it: given this current trend, I don't exactly have the highest hopes for Harvey.

But, hey... since making money is the name of the game, I can play too. Here are my Top 10 Movies that "Deserve" a Remake***

10. Robocop
9. Lethal Weapon
8. Misery
7. Howard the Duck
6. To Kill a Mockingbird
5. Goodfellas
4. Fahrenheit 451
3. Clerks
2. Arsenic and Old Lace
1. North by Northwest

Feel free to post your own lists in the comments. I'll be more than happy to read them.

*I need to note that I absolutely freaking LOVE The Karate Kid, but that doesn't make it a good movie.
** I noticed while writing this a lot of these remakes are schlocky horror flicks, as well as the back catalog of John Capenter's movies... which is still going on today.
*** I am actually quite afraid that someone is going use these ideas.



  1. Howard the Duck! LOL. I had completely forgotten about that movie! Nice post.

  2. 1. It's a Wonderful Life
    2. Roman Holiday
    3. Sound of Music
    4. White Christmas
    5. Wizard of Oz (not my favorite, but still a classic.
    6. Fiddler on the Roof

  3. A "To Kill a Mockingbird" remake would be wonderful, except I fear that they'd cast George Clooney in it. Shoot me now.

  4. I'd take Clooney over Pitt, or God forbid... Tom Cruise. Blergh.