Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Beat Goes On.

I have heard it said many times in my life that a person may "walk to the beat of their own drum." It's an interesting idea. Rhythm is a natural, integral, and internal part of being human. Our hearts beat, we walk, we move, and talk in rhythms. We live in a rhythm all our own. So if we have a natural rhythm, what does the beat sound like?

For me, lately, it's a war drum. It's a driving sound. I can't dance to it. I can't even sway with it. And yet it keeps me moving. It pushes me and it just keeps pushing. Get up, go to work, work, come home, sleep. Repeat ad nauseam. Keep on pushing. Drive and move and don't stop. Can't stop.

Currently my beat is me at work. I have let my job dominate my life and it fills me with bitterness. I am grateful for having a steady job, especially in a time where finding work is tricky, but I have come to a point where it has stolen my identity. The only sound is that driving thump that says to keep moving.

A good person recently said to me "I work to live, not the other way around." That struck a major chord with me. I realized that's exactly how I should be living, myself. But I have been living to work. And so I blame my job because I have no life of my own, but that's my own fault. I can always choose working to live. I can always choose the beat I hear. The beat I want to hear is something catchy. Something that makes me move and sway in time. I want that driving war drum there, but as a background that drives a beat of life. A rollicking thud with a danceable back beat. I want to work to live. I want to live. I want to dance to a whole new beat.

So what about you? What does your beat sound like? What do you think it should sound like?

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